Waitlisted...

I share this because it was a learning experience, and a valuable one at that...

I applied to an accelerated nursing program here in Portland, at Linfield College,  with the hopes that Cameron would be accepted to the Pharmacy graduate programs either at OSU or Pacific, not too far from the Portland Area. Ironically, the only two schools that declined him from the interview process were OSU and Pacific. I, however, still had my hopes up to hear positively from Linfield. I had decided that if I was accepted we would cross that bridge then. As time drew closer we were starting to finalize things for Cameron to attend graduate school up in Seattle, WA. In my mind, however, I had decided that if Linfield were to accept me into their nursing program, I would stay behind and join him in Seattle 13 to 14 months down the road. Seattle is not a great distance away and in the long scheme of things, what's one year?! It's interesting, however, even when we're stubborn enough to feel like the Lord is not looking out for us, He is.

With so much focus as to Cameron's future, although of course, it is for the benefit of both of us and our future family, my self-esteem, and I hate to admit it, has been hitching a ride on a rollar coaster.. we'll just leave it at that. Not to get to personal, but there are times I feel a little lost as to what my personal direction is in this game of life. I think that is why I was so determined to stay behind and attend school without Cameron, if it was going to be an option. As difficult as it would be to live apart, in the eternities, one year would not make a difference. I would be able to do something I long to do, and something that would benefit our family and enable me to help put Cameron through school a bit easier.

It was the week before I was expecting to hear from Linfield. I was reading an article in the Ensign that dissolved my determination to live apart from Cameron and reaffirmed my desire to keep our family unit together and whole. In the article, Elder Oaks, one of the Twelve Apostles of the Church, commented,

"I reaffirm the counsel Church leaders have given that husbands and wives should not separate for long periods, such as for foreign or other distant employment. In too many cases, such separations are followed by serious sin. Separations lead to the breaking of eternal covenants, which causes heartache and loss of blessings. In modern revelation the Lord has commanded , 'Thou shalt love thy wife [husband] with all they heart, and shalt cleave unto her [him] and none else' (D & C 42:22). When we follow the commandments of the Lord and the counsel of His leaders regarding marriage, we can call on Him to bless us in all other things. "

It hit me so hard that I had been so mixed up in where my priorities should be. I remember the morning the letter came in the mail, and I wanted to hide it from everyone until I could open it and read its contents before letting anyone know I had received it. I had decided that no matter its contents, I was going to Seattle to support Cameron. I still so badly wanted to read, "ACCEPTED", just to build my confidence and know I had done it. Whatever reason it may be, either there were more qualified applicants or the Lord knew, even still, that I would not turn down an acceptance letter, or both, I read "WAITLISTED" on the top of my letter from Linfield. But you know what? It was what I needed. Emotionally, and for more own self-confidence,  I needed to know that I was a competitive applicant, but I also needed it to not be an option. There were almost 700 applicants to their nursing program, for 60 slots. They wait-listed close to 10. Knowing that I was in the top 70 was confidence building. I still find myself doubting, and wishing so badly that I was accepted. I tell myself, just to know that I had done it... but I catch myself thikning that I would have accepted that acceptance, for who knows what other roads may open up or stay closed as we move to Seattle.

I am grateful that I have a Heavenly Father who knows me better than I know myself...even when I doubt His direction. There are so many great things I want to do in this world. I think of my degree in Public Health, the things that I wanted so desperately to see and do, the people I want to visit and help. I think of my short time in Africa, and my burning desire to go back. I think of our future family.  I still feel lost but I am going to rely on Elder Oaks words, that, "When we follow the commandments of the Lord and the counsel of His leaders regarding marriage, we can call on Him to bless us in all other things." As we move to Seattle, as I job search, as Cameron works through the financial process of paying for his schooling, I know that as we do the things we are commanded to do, I can and will call upon God to bless and guide me.

Seattle - a preview

Erin, my roommate through college and one of my closest friends, came up to Seattle for spring break with her hubby. I was THRILLED to death that they were going to be so close to where Cam and I are that we HAD to make a trip up so we could all play together!!! It was a blast, and good chance to quickly scope out the city which we will soon call home.

 The GUM wall!

 Jammin' out to the music!

 A Seattle sunset!

Seafood !!!! yum?! Nope I had chicken, but Austin ate crabs legs the length of my arm...well almost! They were huge!

Updates! On to bigger and better!

Dearest families and friends! There is so much to update I thought I would do it in one BIG post! ;-) I hope life is treating you all superb as you much deserve it! I can't believe almost exactly a year ago Cam and I graduated. (Congratulations to all our friends and family members who graduated this last weekend! Woo hoo!) A year has passed, and we don't have much to show for it ...sadly. But our intentions were to work and save for a little while before our next big adventure. Well ... after several interviews, too many flights, and hours of waiting and anticipation Cameron has been accepted and has accepted the acceptance into the Doctorate Program of Pharmacy at the University of Washington in Seattle, WA. Bring on the rain! It was difficult deciding ultimately where we wanted to move to and which school to choose. There were a couple of schools he interviewed for but was waitlisted and to be honest, I am grateful that that narrowed down are choices to far less. Ultimately choosing between just the two schools we had limited it to was difficult enough!!! Cameron begins the four year doctorate program this coming September and we plan to move up to Seattle sometime in August after making our way to Utah for the summer to spend some time with family and friends. I am excited about the idea of starting a new adventure and the opportunities and experiences that come with living in a BIG city! Terrified? Yes! but excited as well. The school is in the heart of downtown Seattle, only minutes from the Needle and the oh-so famous Fish Market. Not only does the University of Washington have one of the top five Pharmacy Programs in the country, they are rated number one for their nursing program as well as number one for the Masters of Public Health program. The idea of financing both Cameron and myself through more schooling seems a little overwhelming, but we shall see how time plays out. I would love to keep going as well. Competition seems just as overwhelming as tuition - but again...we shall see what roads we end up on together. I have no idea what I am going to do when we get there, other than pack Cameron's school lunches ;-), find a job (or two - but who knows doing what?) to maybe keep us afloat as we take out school loans, and find all the exciting things to do and see in Northern Washington (I've never been to Canada - so that's on the top of the list.) I want to thank so many of you for your prayers and words of encouragement! We couldn't do it without you!

Wedding Day

On Friday the thirteenth of August 2010, Cameron and I were sealed for time and all eternity in the Portland Oregon Latter Day Saint Temple. That means we're "stuck" with each other for the next forever amount of years! And we're thrilled to be together! I can't believe almost two years has flown by already!