My giggly and sometimes screaming little bundle of joy!

Today was a hard day. I didn't think they could, but I think Laila's screams are growing in volume. I just felt drained. We had places we needed to be and responsibilities to fulfill, and the little girl was going to make sure to make them more difficult than enjoyable. After several hours of screaming in the car to and from places, I decided enough was enough and it was time to retreat back to headquarters. I was skyping a good friend this afternoon and her first comment was wow, you look exhausted...who knew I was wearing it so vividly on my face - and I try so hard to hide it...opps. I can't blame her too much for her comment because beyond brushing my teeth for the day we really didn't get very far in trying our best to look ready for the world.

After all of this, however (which really is nothing too terribly tragic or difficult) I found myself sitting on the couch with Laila in my lap. Post feeding, which is more often than not our happiest time of the day. And cue the water works. Tears started to flood down my cheeks as I realized how much I loved this giggly and sometimes screaming little bundle of joy! It doesn't take much to get a grin on her face anymore, and her giggles absolutely melt my heart.

I remember writing a post earlier about how its okay to say you're not enjoying things that first month, or how difficult it can be. People don't tell you that. Again, I have to add how truly blessed we have been for good health, for all of us. In retrospect, we were so blessed and continue to be so.  But now that my sanity is coming back (although its probably debatable) and those sleepless nights are not nearly as sleepless, I truly can wrap my head around what an incredible blessing and time this is for our little family.

She is such a chatterbox. But the best part is is she will look you directly in the eyes and just talk and talk and talk. Its like she really is trying to tell you something. Its incredible! Her little eyebrows and eyes move with each inflection. I LOVE it (well...most of the time - we have recently "kicked" her out of sleeping in our room due to her 3:00am conversations with herself :) )  !

I have a good friend who just found out she is expecting! Yay! However, I think it is finally settling in as she spends a lot of time with her head in the toilet and wishing she were in bed. She's not too excited about the near future. I remember that. I remember talking with my dad and asking him why there were not more single children in this world. Why would anyone sign up to do this thing more than once?!

Before finding out that our two-some would be turning into a three-some, we were both looking at acceptance letters into programs we were both anxious about pursuing.  When plans shifted I wasn't so sure of their new direction. It wasn't until that first ultra-sound, when we could see facial features and a heart beat. It wasn't until I could feel those flutters in my stomach. It wasn't until Cameron laid is head on my belly and got a visible kick in the face that I realized what an incredible thing this was. It was and is worth every moment of my head in the toliet, every moment awake when I would rather be asleep, worth every tear and feeling of inadequacy and exhaustion ...it is worth everything I could possibly sacrifice and give.  Besides her father, Laila is my greatest possession. I am so grateful for my Heavenly Father. For his trusting us with her little body and spirit. Witnessing the miracle of life, I think, really confirms that there is more than just this earthly existence. What an incredible amazing thing!